This is me

Cinta itU membingungKan.. Bnr tak ada LoGIka..
Cinta itU menyesatkan.. Tak ada peTa, skali salah memilih jalan, then u’ll LoST.. And GONE
Cinta itU buTA…
Mpe ga tau mana yg baik/buruk, salah/benar..Semua jadi trliHat semPuRNa kaSat maTa..
Cinta itU menyaKitkan..
Menerbangkan kita tinggi di awan kemudian mengHempaskan bgtU saja ke daRAT..
Cinta itU bohoNg..
KemuNafikan menepikan rasioNAlitas! Cinta itU UniVerSAL..
Dpt dihuJAM kan kmanapun kita mau, ksiapapun, dmanapun, kapanpun itU..
Cinta itU ElasTis..
Mampu ditarik dan diuLUR.. Tanpa perlu puTus..
Cinta itU TEATER..dan kita adalah TaLenT…
Karena cinta itu mampu membuat kePribadian kita berganti scepat kilat.
Kita dapat Menangis, tertawa, marah, dan menjadi giLa..
Tanpa perlu cermin darat trlebih dahulu..
Karena sakit teraBAIKAN dsini..
Cinta itU spt Zat Cair yg mengikuTi dmn ia ditempatkan.. Cinta itU muSIK..
Dgn berbaGAI aliran yg dpt kita piliH sesuai dg apa yg kita suKai..
Cinta itU seJati..
Cinta itU KeJAM..
Cinta itU memiliki dan dimiliki..
Cinta itu menCintai dan diCintai..
Cinta itULah CINTA.. 

READY FOR A FALL

Januari, 2007

Jatuh cinta, kehilangan, bertemu, berpisah.. merupakan rutinitas yang biasa ditemui pada makhluk bernama MANUSIA. Saat mereka jatuh cinta, kehangatan meliputi tubuh mereka. Merasuk ke relung-relung jiwa yang berpalung dalam dan gelap. Hanya sesuatu yang bercahaya teranglah yang mampu menembus kabut di dalamnya. CINTA.. Itu yang mereka sebut-sebut sebagai sesuatu yang agung dan terang. Sesuatu itu begitu indah sampai-sampai mereka akan rela melakukan apapun untuk memilikinya dan menjaganya.

Semua hanya demi dia.. si Cinta itu..

Seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, hanya akan dua persimpangan yang harus dipilih, apakah Cinta itu akan dituntun dan dirawat sehingga semakin tumbuh dan berkembang? Ataukah Cinta itu akan diterbengkalaikan dan kemudian membiarkannya pergi untuk selamanya.

Lalu ketika tiba-tiba sucinya Cinta di nodai oleh sebuah pengkhianatan, berlahan-lahan kekuatan dan cahaya cinta tersebut menjadi redup kemudian mati sama sekali.

Setelah semua terjadi akan hanya satu pertanyaan tersisa untuk kita jawab dan kita renungi..

“ READY FOR A FALL???? “

I’m frightened at night and the wind has a roar
It seeps through the hall and from under the door
Like the shit that was said
I can’t take it that well
I give and I give and I give and I give and I’m still
Lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that’s been starved
I know it got close but I’m sure it’s too far
From the point of suspense, we know it should be
The end of that part of our favorite movie
When the guy grabs the girl and gives her his hand
Says take me away from this torturous land
Cause the grave is set up, the hole that I dug
I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave you my trust
Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie
To add to the scene you pretended to cry
But I’m here and I’m cool, the way that it is
Just give me a chance and I’ll try to forgive

I’ve really had it with the rain of the tears
The predictable storm that has come every year
And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand
I’m trying I’m trying I’m trying I’m trying I can’t!!
You’re a thief and a witch but I love you to death
You steal my heart and curse under your breath
But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I’ll be fine without you

And I don’t know
And I can’t guess
If it’s gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I’m the only one
I know you can
Won’t you do it for me now??

do u ever ask ur love to find another soulmate on their life??
do u ever insist her/him to find it immediately…???
when u feel u’re not gud enough for her/him???
i do,,,,!!!!
i ask him…to date another girl,,,
people think i’m a lil’insane girl..
but,,, this is my final decisions…
and,,,
outstanding!!!
he is trying….
oke,,,
i cry much since the first time i hear abour her.. till now.
but,,, i open my heart, my arms widely..
and hope everything is gonna be fine for me…
anw, my fren mad at me b’coz of this.. he said i’m sick,,
he said, it’s not love,, it is like inside hell…
but,,, i don’t care what he said…
bcoz love already blind me…

I made my mistake or i’d forced to made mistakes?? i don’t even know by who?? who dares??
Did i’m guilty after this?? after that??
What i’m supposed to do and to be?? I’m Confused,,, I  can’t even recognize who am i? Am i an ANGEL or more fit if i’m being a DEVIL?? i feel like i’m sometimes in between… I’m a kind person but in other way i’m just being so mean so Cruel, the cruelest person i’ve ever know.. and it’s not cool to found your self in the bad side like that,,,
I am Hurt and also Hurting in same time, same plaCe,, what is this?? am i Insane?? am i Nuts?? Is this normal for 19 years old not a girl not yet a woman like me??
I felt Cold inside and boiled immediately,,
I just wannabe an ordinnary girl, i hate to be like this,, not perfect person, half nice, half annoying, evil inside, good inside,,, who the hell am i?? I’m alone in my own way, see,,, nobody’s care about my present in this earth.. I’m completely Alone…
Everybody’s pretending like i’m not supposed to be here,, in this planet. they staring at me wishing i’m gone forever and ever… They judged me,, insist me to felt Guilty all this time,, for all my life.. they think i’m a weird girl who decided to kill her self after the whole people in world hating her,,, am i really weird like they said?? Yes right if i cry like a baby if i don’t get my way,, and i wont appologize when i make a mistake.. but i’m normal,, i swear,, i’m a normal,,, not an abnormal,, this is unbelieveable….
it’s not what i want actually,,, i wish they’re all dissapears inside the blackhole [they,,, peoples who considered me go Mad] and leave me somebody who loves me, trully loves me,,, hopefully,,,,
it’s ok to found people take me as an angel or a devil,,,
i don’t really care at all,,,
B’coz it means i’m Special,,,

Benci,, benci,,, benci,,,,

gw BenCi loe banget…

gha peNa bisa belaJar menempatkan diri, gha pena mau berusaha ngikutin apa kata hati,, what iz that?? so Damn SELFISH…

I hate U,,, i Mean it…

Kenapa? kenapa? kenapa harus bertanya kenapa kalau diri loe sendiri gha tau lo kenapa??

truz salah sapa?? jangan cuman bisa nyalahin diri loe sindiri doong,,

Usaha bwt ngerubah semua itu,,,

USAHA!!!!!!

Stop it know,,, stop.. it’s Hurt me…

I am already in Pain.. so plizzz………….

————————————-TENSHI IN PAIN——————————————-

Today iz a Painfull day,,,,

siap-siap ajah jadi korban dari kekejaman sang Eksekutor,,,

si Kuku Bimo TL ituh,,, udah kebayang gmn pedihnya,, capeknya,,

disiksa laghe..

teman - teman jangan pernah menganggap ikut Teater tuwh hal yang SERU… dan menyenangkan,, padahal kenyataannya adalah Menyedihkan dan menyakitkan….

uuuugh………!!!!!!!!

skrg laghe sndr di LAB A,, menunggu detik jam melangkah lebih cepat dari biasanya.. [secara baru mulai jam set4 gituh,,,]

Merien dan Grace jugha belum dateng,,,

gw plg sndr gitu ntar,, jam 8 malem dgn keadaan jalanan yang GILA macet,, apa bisa gw nyetir dgn keadaan spt ini??

UUUUggggh,,,, dy JAHAT bgt gha berinisiatif bwt temenin gw latihan.. with the reasons,,,, trnyata gw masih kalah dengan temennya,, gw masih menjadi posisi yang kesekian berapa gitu dalam hidupnya.

kasian juga sih gw,,,

Koq gw HEBOH sih???

sapa sih loe?????

waaaaaaaaaaaaaa,,,,,, pengen teriak habiskan suara gw,,

gw kesel,,, knp c hal kecil seperti ini justru bisa nyakitin hati gw,,,

NORAAAAAAK,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Ada bagian hatiku tak terbawa pulang

merasa menetap

mungkin tak perlu dibawa

Kutitip saja hatiku disana

JAngan biarkan ia menghiLAng

Karena aKu hanya menitipkan

Suatu saat

bersaMa senJA

akan kusatukan kembaLi

Dengan jiwanYa

[Tiga "Menjemput semburat CinTa"]

"GroW oLd wiTh you"
       (6y: Adam SadLeR)

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink
oh, I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

lagu ini emang Stuck in My head banget…
ga bisa iLang.. menurut gue, lagu dari originaL soundtrack "Wedding singeR" ini bener2 TOP abis.
gimana ga TOP coba?? Adam sadLer yang jadi pemeran utama di FiLm ini meranin sebuah adegan yang Luar biasa. Nyanyiin lagu ini dengan cuman bermodaL giTar akustik di daLam pesawaT buaT seorang cewek yang amaaaaT dy cintai [Drew barrymore yang peranin]. huaaaaah… RomanTis bangeTzzzz…….
Seneng bangeT emang ya kaLo kiTa udah nemuin SouLmaTe kita truz Grow oLd bareng2 dia..
hoPe somedaY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

         CHeeRs,
       AvreeeL_Ayoe@tough-girL.com

I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick– it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh — even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you’re not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.